“That is how long/how much you have been my husband. We are us. We have made it. I have made a promise to never underestimate how difficult this commitment we have made is. I have promised myself to each year, quantify in this way, just how long/how much you and I have been us, Mr. and Mrs. Ernst. Seeing the years, months, days, moments, seconds add up makes my heart swell with pride. I chose to allow your love to fill my life and my heart and whilst that makes me happy and content so much of the time, I knew going in to this that this was never going to be easy. Not by any fault of our own necessarily but because of the world, society, people that we will meet or have met that will influence us in one way or another, raw deals and lost dreams that we will have to let go of, money, air, wrenches and who knows what else… Easy or not, we are in this together, for better or worse, such easy words to say, so much more difficult to live them, I’m proud of us for doing so.”
Our second year of marriage has been a roller coaster:
o We found out that we were having a baby
o 12 weeks later we found out that our baby’s heart stopped beating
o I had surgery for that loss
o I fell in love with you even more for the way you supported me in the aftermath of my “missed miscarriage”
o We planned to move our home which then fell through
o We planned a career change for you, which then fell through
o YOU persevered, found a fantastic position doing what you love, working with people that make your days enjoyable and who challenge you
o We lost our friend, Joe, who was a neighbor but really so much more than that
o We found out I was pregnant again
o We got to experience the incomparable joy of seeing an ultrasound of our babies heart beating
o We celebrated with extreme caution and kept our lips sealed as much as possible
o We learned the ups and downs of having a “high risk pregnancy”
o Found out we were having a boy, I cried… (you rejoiced! Lol)
o Negotiated on a baby name (thank you for that!)
o We fought, about the important, stupid, and typical things
o We inevitably made up
o You worked on race cars and went to race weekends
o We went on our third movie date in our entire relationship
o We moved a prego pillow into our bed (it’s not your favorite)
o I continued to document our day to day life to spite being in a serious funk for months
o I painted, changed and rearranged the entire house in true prego nesting form
o You bought a “Family Car” #projectslowsaab
o I got in a car accident and learned just how valuable my headlights really were
o I got to be reminded how “lovely”? looking for a car with my mechanic husband’s stipulations can be
o We assembled insane amounts of furniture
o We made a nursery in our home for our baby boy to grow in
o We have experienced nocturnal swarming bees (and are apparently the only ones! Ha!)
o We laughed the hardest I think we ever have at the “Prince” episode of “New Girl”
o I got you to sing the Kit Kat jingle for a bite sized Kit Kat Bar
o You delivered one million fountain sodas with “the good ice” from Circle K
o You mastered the double flush and increased my morning happiness potential exponentially
o We have gotten to feel Baby Don wiggle, shimmy and kick in my belly, the look of awe on your face makes my heart skip a beat, I don’t know if I’ll ever really wrap my head around the magic that we have set in motion, it truly amazes me more and more with each passing day.
o We have learned to be home at the same time, which really never happened much before this year
o We have watched 3-4 tv shows together this year, yet another first in our marriage
o We got to see what the drive way looked like once again
o We fought a war over a friend built table and a pumpkin patch picture (we ended up with the cutest pumpkin patch pictures ever)
o We forgave and forgot ON REPEAT.
I am still smiling and still falling my love.
I’m quoting this part from our original anniversary post along with the intro because I STILL mean it:
“We are of a generation that is fickle, that runs away from the scary shit. I promised myself and you that I would not run away from the scary shit in our marriage. That in and of itself IS SCARY! But, I meant it, I will mean it. I may write this “review” some years and mostly hate you! But, I will love you, I will forget and forgive, I will smile and laugh, I will let go and move on, I will go crazy and find sanity, I will want to quit and join the majority and I will overcome and subscribe, once again, to the minority. I am yours, you are mine. It will not be easy. It will down right suck at times. I knew that going in. I knew that when I sat in the corner eating two bites of a fish-filet pushing you away to no avail that I had completely jumped into the abyss that is us.
I will get jealous, I will worry, I will cry, we will experience loss in many ways, but we will see our way through it. I will grow old with you, which means that there is so much that will occur, that the seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, years will just keep stacking up to remind me just how sure I was/am that this is love, this is us.”
This past year was full of situations that filled us with sadness, frustration, disappointment, loss and heartbreak. If there was a time to run we lived it and then some, but, we didn’t, we bared down and found the strength in ourselves and in our marriage to see our way through and to continue on loving one another even when it felt like the world was against us. Thank you for after yet another year proving to me that you did in fact mean it when you said forever. I hope you can see how much I mean it too.
I am overwhelmed with excitement and anticipation as we embark on this third year of marriage! It will most certainly be the most intense, exciting and rewarding one yet. Our son, Donald Edward Harvey Ernst III, will be here in 7 weeks or so and he is going to change EVERYTHING! I already love him more than I can reasonably explain and with each day that our son grows inside of me I fall a little more in love with you. I am so anxious to witness you interact with him. I am positive that you are going to be an outstanding father. Harvey is so lucky to have you. I know the two of you will make me absolutely crazy on a pretty regular basis, but I also know that you guys will also provide me with more love and laughter than I can even imagine right now. I have “The Don Smile” across my face just thinking about it!
I’m proud of us husband and I love you with my whole heart.
Happy 2nd Anniversary The Don!